Subject: 12 Jokes of X-mas

1. What do elves learn at elf school?
The elfabet!

2. What's the difference between the elfabet [X-mas alphabet] and the
ordinary alphabet?
No "L." (Noel)

3. What does Santa Claus have three gardens?
So he can hoe-hoe-hoe!

4. What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
Frosted flakes. [Alternately, snowflakes.]

5. What kind of bird can write?
A penguin.

6. Which kind of candle burns longer, a red candle or a green candle?
Neither. Candles always burn shorter!

7. How many presents can Santa fit into an empty sack?
Only one, then it's not empty anymore.

8. If athletes get athletes foot, what do astronauts get?
Missiletoe!

9. What does a cat on the beach have in common with X-mas?
Sandy claws.

10. Q: What do you call Santa's Helpers?
A: Subordinate Clauses.

11. What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?
Claustrophobic!

12. Why was Santa's little helper depressed?
He had low elf esteem.

--
Why is it usually cold at Christmas?
Because it's Decemberrrrr!

What happened to the man who shoplifted a calender at Christmas?
He got 12 months!

==
What is the best X-mas present in the world?
A broken drum -- you can't beat it!

How can a snowman lose weight?
He waits until it gets warmer!

What did Adam say on the day before Christmas?
It's Christmas, Eve!